Transcending Religious and Political Issues with Spirituality

As a woman who has had an abortion, for many years I struggled with who I was and what I had done. I believe in the sacredness of life, yet I also believe that life can be very hard. I believe in a woman’s right to choose, yet I have a hard time killing a bee. Am I pro-choice or pro-life? Am I both or neither? And how can that be?

Having been a devout Catholic, as well as businesswoman, I can relate to and understand both sides. As a woman who had an abortion, neither side gives me solace about my choice. It is virtually impossible to feel secure in a world where so much hatred exists with regard to this issue.

Despite the contradictions, I have discovered a place of safety, freedom and serenity from my past.

Dr. Brian Weiss wrote in Messages From the Masters that we choose our parents. When I first read that almost two years ago, something shifted in me. Does this mean that my children, even my unborn children, chose me to be their mother?

I have had one abortion and one miscarriage, so I have two babies living in spirit. It was one thing to think philosophically about my three living children and this teaching, but what about my unborn?

Six months after reading every one of Dr. Weiss’ books searching for more answers, through a serendipitous encounter with a former high school classmate, I was led to James Van Praagh’s book, Growing Up in Heaven. Mr. Van Praagh must have heard my question, for he answers it in this book. Although there are less than two pages in it devoted to abortions and miscarriages, he writes that “both souls (the unborn and the mother’s) have agreed that they will go through this experience for growth.” He also writes in the case of abortions that they “are lessons for the mother to learn self-love and self-worth”. 

My life took new meaning and required more and different exploration when I came to consider these principles. I believe we are indeed souls occupying a physical body. With this basic premise in mind, it is obvious that there is a whole other world outside of the physical reality we live in that transcends the limitations of our third dimensional living. 

It seems impossible that the struggle between the political and the religious will ever end. But in my own life, the war is over. The struggle in my human consciousness no longer holds sway over me. In my moments of connectedness with the Divine, I am grateful that I have been able to receive the gift of these lessons marked by an infusion of deep and profound love. I hope that as I share my story, others who struggle will come to find peace in knowing they are deeply loved as well. 




How Childhood Experiences Can Cause Us to be Fearful

The New York Times bestseller, Waking Up in Heaven, chronicles the life of Crystal McVea, a Christian wife and mother from Oklahoma. Her book reminds us yet again that EVERYONE has a story.

Her story confirms my observation that our childhood experiences can deeply impact our choices as adults. Those experiences can make us feel worthless and unlovable. So many times, we do not realize that we feel this way, because this was our normal. It may have been very dysfunctional. Yet it is the only “normal” we know.

Will my child be ok? 

As I have gotten to know other women who have chosen abortion, I have found with those that I have had substantive conversations, fears stemming from childhood experiences, giving rise to feelings of panic in having their own child. Will my child be abused, despite my best intentions? Will he or she live in poverty? Will they know authentic, expressive love?

Several women I have met were abused as children, physically and/or emotionally. Others were raised in extreme poverty. Still others experienced unusual loss, illness or death of a parent, sibling or close friend. My grandmother, for instance, lost her father when she was nine years old, and lived most of her childhood not knowing where she might have to move to next to find food and work. When I thought about her life experience, was it really so surprising that she had an abortion during the Great Depression?

We all have a story. 

Our world is still an imperfect place. Children are still abused and live in poverty. Women are still not in equal standing with men in positions of leadership. And when it comes to having families, whether you are a man or a woman, there is still lack of legislation (in the US) that adequately protects family life.

I believe the pro-life and pro-choice movements ultimately want the same thing – a reduction in the need for and rate of abortion. Certainly, I think this is what women want. I have yet to meet a woman who wanted to have an abortion. Perhaps if we were able to address more of the basic needs of children and families, abortion (along with a myriad of other social issues), might be greatly reduced.

And then, perhaps, both sides might get what they really want in the first place.

Everyone has a story. It’s time to make those stories better for our kids and future generations.