Isn't that what everybody wants anyway?
No woman "wants" to have an abortion, even those of us who have had one.
And duh, the pro-lifers are all against abortion.
What better way to have it all?
And then a couple of weeks ago, my daughter's boyfriend showed me a perfect example.
He made a decision based on love, not fear.
He chose to walk in my daughter's shoes long enough to understand her reproductive choices were "their" reproductive choices. Her comfort or discomfort was his too. When she was not healthy, it impacted him also. They both knew before they began their relationship that they didn't want to have children. Neither pressured the other to think the same way about a future with or without kids. After watching her medical struggles for a year now with various hormones and patches and their impact on her body, mind and spirit, he decided he would do his part.
He made a decision to have a vasectomy.
Now, more than a few folks think he is crazy. Or, he's too young (26) to know whether or not he wants kids. He may change his mind. My favorite - why would he risk a knife to the "family jewels" in the first place?
Maybe there is a new generation of men out there who are more open to this kind of sharing. I hope so. I've met men who refused to wear a condom, much less decided to have a vasectomy. This young man's actions seem pretty extraordinary to me.
I don't know what the final straw was that propelled him to make this decision, but I know that he loves his girlfriend, my daughter, with his whole self. He's watched her pain and seen her anxiety. I believe he's felt these things with her.
He made a choice for unity instead of separation.
He made a choice to operate with compassion and love for the benefit of the whole of the relationship, not for the benefit of himself.
He made a choice for love over fear.
He leaned into, not away from.
He built a bridge to greater intimacy, he did not dig a bigger moat.
He built a bridge to greater intimacy, he did not dig a bigger moat.
He earned his "man card".
He's a modern day Knight in Shining Armor in my book. He's taking responsibility for himself and the woman he loves. He leaned into a decision that many other men don't ever make. He chose love over fear. (And, ironically, a decision that will hopefully prevent an unplanned and unwanted pregnancy).
I don't know what will happen tomorrow, but I do know, as a mom, I couldn't feel more grateful for the partner my daughter is with today.
Ahhh, the things we do for love!
What will you do for love today? Lol!
Namaste.
