Dear United States Senator

Dear United States Senators,

I am frustrated, angry - no make that enraged, and despite the last two years - incredulous. Our country needs leadership right now. We need leadership that will build bridges to peace, not further the already historic divide in our once great nation. The past two weeks what I have seen makes me sick. My heart is breaking tonight for our country's women, children and all marginalized people. The game of which party is bigger, better, or more deserving isn't serve any common interests, only self-interest. I'm so tired of the fighting, the adversity and the inability to see the big picture over the bickering between all of you. Shame on you! The Democrats used Dr. Ford the same way Norma McCorvey was used by the Pro-Choicers. A means to an end. Has anyone checked on her this week? Do you know how she is managing? Do you even care?

And Republicans, including and especially Donald Trump - you have used power over others yet again to get your way. This is not just about gender - it's about abuse of power. I am sick and tired or your platitudes on the value of life. If you valued women, we'd have access to insurance that covered birth control and equal pay to that of men. Do you know how many sexual assault victims commit suicide? According to Rainn, 33% of rape victims contemplate suicide, 13% actually attempt it.  Do you understand the permanence of that trauma to a person's psyche or do you just not care? Please help me understand how your inability to address the epidemic of sexual abuse is valuing life.

This is a pivotal moment in our country's history. We need leaders who can listen - not just to words, but to what actions are behind the words. Intonation. Respectfulness. Intent. Motive. Empathy.

We need leaders who can step back from the war between the Republicans and Democrats, the left and the right, the conservatives and the liberals, men and women, whites and non-whites and open the  lines of communication. We don't need more leadership that shuts down and uses power over others to get their way. This country has lost all its humanity for the taking of winning. America has lost it's soul.

I fear for my children. If we can't count on our nation's leaders to be a voice of reason, to evaluate and educate and listen to each other, we are truly rudderless. Judge Brett Kavanaugh demonstrated an inability to listen. He showed his bias against Democrats and liberals in a clear and angry fashion. Whether or not you believe Dr. Ford is no longer the main issue. If Judge Kavanaugh had any tenderness for his family or his country, he would step aside. He is not thinking of anyone but himself as he fights for his "right" to be a supreme Court Justice and he is certainly not acting in the best interests of our country with his paranoia about the left being out to get him. He is not capable of listening, of answering a question or showing respect. He is certainly not capable of being impartial. How can we ever expect him to be part of the solution to heal our wounded and disenfranchised people?

I hope you're proud of yourselves. I am disgusted. I thought we'd elected leadership for all the people. - leadership that recognizes the crisis we are in and wants to work to fix it. We need you to find a candidate who can facilitate that, not make it worse. You can do better. Our children deserve better. May the God you worship every Sunday have mercy on you when you meet your Maker. You're going to need it.

Sincerely,

Christina Haas

Our Unborn Children's Souls Speak to Us

I will remember this day as long as I live. November 22, 2003. This was the day I first glimpsed my daughter, whom I chose to abort in July 1992.

I was at a retreat, trying to heal myself of the deep wounds still within me from the abortion I’d had over a decade earlier. Our first task was to carry a heavy rock everywhere we went, even the toilet and shower, to get the physical sensation of the emotional burden we were suffering.

I woke that November morning, in tears, determined to move forward. I carried my rock with me to breakfast and decided then and there that I would not succumb to this heaviness any longer. I went to the chapel in the retreat house, put my rock on the altar and fell to my knees.

“Dear God!” I cried. “I am so, so sorry for what I’ve done. I am so sorry.” And I burst into tears, my body heaving with each sob.

Almost instantly, in my mind’s eye I saw my little girl. She was about three years old. I saw her laughing and playing in a beautiful sunlit meadow with other children. I knew she was my daughter, with the same color of dark blond hair and same light blue eyes. She was skipping and dancing in nature. She was happy!

In those moments of releasing my pent-up emotions, the liberation of my spirit began.

Later that day, our retreat leaders led us through a guided visualization where we walked into a meadow — the same meadow I had seen in my earlier vision — to meet our children. What a gift I was given to have “seen” her before this group exercise. It allowed me to trust myself and to know that all was well for us both.

It has been many years since that first experience of meeting my unborn daughter. I named her Mary for the purity, innocence and love I saw and felt from her. I take a retreat once a year or so, and every time I do, she shows up for me. I no longer feel sadness, pain or angst when I think of her, I feel her spirit with me as one of love and tenderness.

As I reflect upon James Van Praagh’s theory that our unborn children are here to help us with our soul’s lessons, I feel Mary’s presence around me, urging me forward. I know that she was willing to delay her entrance on earth so I could learn my lessons. It was, and is, a gift of love.

In a world where abortion is so greatly stigmatized and death is so abhorrent to us, this transformation has been truly miraculous.

This perspective is a gift. I can see my abortion in a different light, one that makes perfect sense and is good for all. And I can pay forward this love best by allowing in the lessons she is teaching me as every year goes by.  

Mary’s soul has been speaking to mine for a long time.

Can you hear your children whispering to you? Can you open yourself to their love? What are your children’s souls saying to you? Take a moment to remember your experience, step back and observe your true feelings. Once you open your heart to your authentic feelings, the listening becomes easier.

Namaste.